Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
