Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
