my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
