But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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