remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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