I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
