Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
