Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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