we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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