Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
