Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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