He told me they were just razor bumps!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just googled if crying burns calories
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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