It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
