They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
