In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
