I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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