dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
