are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
