She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
