I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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