Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
