dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
