Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Randomize
