There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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