Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
