Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
