i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My liver just had a heart attack.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
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