I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
