I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i think i have two assholes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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