so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
