I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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