then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
