actually, I'm a sock model
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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