I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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