Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
