Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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