eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
