i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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