Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Randomize
