its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
