I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
