i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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