so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
