that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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