we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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