id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
