I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
