He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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