He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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