What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
