I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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